


Save Me From Myself

by CLeighWrites



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Abusive Steve Carlson, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Commissioned fic, Doctor Krushnic, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Half of this fic is in the hospital, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt Jensen Ackles, Hurt/Comfort, Jared Padalecki Saves The Day, M/M, Mackenzie Ackles is Hilarious, Mackenzie Ackles is Team J2, Nurse Genevieve Cortese, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, This was only supposed to be 10k, Top Jared Padalecki, Top Steve Carlson, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLeighWrites/pseuds/CLeighWrites
Summary: Jared and Jensen had a friendly, sometimes flirty, working relationship until Jared gets a gut feeling about Jensen’s boyfriend and follows them back to their house. It takes some time, but Jensen begins to heal from the years of living under Steve’s control. With Jared’s help, he even begins to think that he deserves love and to be loved.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Steve Carlson
Comments: 75
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jld71](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jld71/gifts).



> **_First and foremost_** , I MUST say that I _do not_ hate Steve; I love Steve and do not know him to be the type of man that I have written him as in this fic. It was actually a freak accident that it ended up to be Steve… this is PURE fiction! _*end disclaimer*_
> 
> Updates will be on Tuesdays and Fridays! (As long as I can remember!) I will also add individual chapter notes for the warnings.
> 
> I am not in the medical nor legal fields, all depictions of such instances are also absolute fiction and I apologize for any gross creative license that I’ve taken! Willingly suspend your disbelief. This is an extremely rough ride with a happy ending. Beta'd by @manawhat (Tumblr) with help from @deanwinchesterswitch (Tumblr) and @mtpw43 (Twitter).
> 
> This fic was a commission! If you liked it, [contact me](https://ko-fi.com/s/514bfb5367) to request your own!
> 
> ****PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS, THESE ARE NOT A JOKE****
> 
> ***NSFW*** , **_RAPE_** , non-con, emotional/verbal/physical assaults, self-deprecation/loathing as an effect of a long-term abusive relationship, PTSD, basically all the ANGST, bottom!Jensen

Jensen was rocking gently on the waves of the lake from the other boats milling about. It was such a beautiful day. The sun shining bright, a breeze skimming the lake’s surface soothed the heat in the air. And Jared. Jared was even brighter than the sun. His wide smile and open, honest eyes gazed longingly at Jensen as if he were the only thing worth looking at. Jensen basked in the warmth of both the sun’s rays and Jared’s affections. 

Out of nowhere, storm clouds raided the sky, boaters were shouting and scrambling to dock their boats, and Jared was calling out to Jensen, but Jensen couldn’t understand what Jared was trying to tell him. The boat listed dangerously to one side and Jensen lost his footing and plummeted into the icy water. The water became rougher and rougher, tossing him around until he couldn’t breathe and began to panic. 

He flailed around and tried to find the surface, only to be pinned by his neck to the bed, face shoved into his pillow, arms pulled tight behind his back. He was being fucked awake, again, with no chance to ease from his dream into reality. From the soreness of his ass, he would say that Steve had been going at it for a while. Thankfully, it wasn’t too long before his hips began to stutter and he came. Jensen knew better than to move as Steve pulled out and admired his handy work. He stayed perfectly still while Steve spread his cheeks open and watched as his come leaked out of Jensen’s abused hole. 

Steve got out of bed and went into the bathroom while Jensen laid there and didn’t move a muscle. He couldn’t. Years of negative reinforcement and conditioning left him immobile until Steve came back and tossed a cold, wet washcloth on his back and told him to clean himself up before leaving the room. 

" _Good morning_ ," Jensen said with great melancholy, to himself, in his head. He dared not speak aloud unless he was asked a direct question, or had been given permission to speak. Of course, those weren’t official "rules," but they were what kept Steve from getting irritated and beating him. Jensen tried so hard to keep him happy. 

The only reprieve Jensen got from the constant worry of disappointing Steve was when he was sleeping. Eventually, Steve had found a way to take that away from him, as well. Even while Jensen was at work, Steve would worm his way into his day. Sending him texts, insisting that Jensen send him pictures of his desk, his coworkers, he even compelled Jensen to get himself hard in the bathroom and send pictures of his dick tenting and sticking out of his dress slacks. There was nowhere Jensen could go where Steve couldn’t get to him. 

Except for Jared. Jensen kept Jared all to himself; never brought his name up when Steve would demand to be told whom he had spoken with during the day. Jensen made sure that Jared was never in any of the pictures Steve insisted on receiving. Jared had quickly become Jensen’s safe haven. People had the tendency to come and go over the years he and Steve had been together. Anyone Steve had mentioned was getting too close to Jensen, or anyone Steve simply didn’t like, was either fired or transferred, though Jensen had never given much thought as to why. It’s not like it could actually have anything to do with him. But the tendency was a driving force in keeping his friendly relationship with Jared a secret from Steve.

Jensen had never garnered any hope, especially with Steve’s words in his head: “You’re worthless and no one’s ever gonna love you but me.” He was right. It wasn’t as if Jared would ever notice Jensen, in particular. Jared was just a friendly, easy-going guy. Jared was friendly with everyone, Jensen wasn’t special. Jensen could barely manage to maintain eye contact for longer than a second. Something told him that if he were to let Jared look him in the eye, his soul would be laid bare for him to see all of his secrets. Including, but not limited to, how much of a disappointment Jensen was. He let down everyone he knew and it would only be a matter of time before he was fired anyway, and then he wouldn’t have to worry about Jared stealing into his soul with a look. 

However, Jared didn’t get the "Jensen is a worthless loser" memo when he started working in Jensen’s department. Jensen knew everyone kept their distance from him, only speaking to him when necessary, which Jensen preferred. But when Jensen had tweaked a sore rib lifting a ream of copy paper one day, Jared was right there to help. Ever since then, Jared had done everything in his power to get to know Jensen. As much as Jensen would allow him. There were obvious questions he wouldn’t answer and would pretend as if he’d never heard. 

"What did you do to hurt your rib?" _Got kicked when I was tripped and fell, blocking the hall_. "Are you ambidextrous?" _No, I just sprained my wrist playing Indian Burn with my boyfriend last night_. "It’s kind of hot for a scarf, isn’t it?" _You’re telling me, but I’ve got a suspicious handprint on my neck right now_. "Did you sprain your wrist shootin’ hoops?" _No, I landed on it wrong when I was pushed down the stairs over the weekend_. "How’d you break your finger?" _My boyfriend twisted it the wrong way teaching me the correct way to fold socks; you see, I’m useless_. "Why are you always in long sleeves?" _Funny story, you see, I tried to slit my wrists last summer, couldn’t even manage to kill myself properly, I should have just let him do it like he said he would_.

Other questions were much easier to answer. "Where did you grow up?" _Texas_. "Do you have any siblings?" _Older brother, younger sister_. Jared’s answers were much the same. They had a lot in common. Both of their parents’ were still together, they both grew up in upper-middle-class households with loving, supportive parents, and they both had been fairly active in sports growing up. Jensen must have fucked up something along the way. Looking back, he must have always been a disappointment, he just never realized it until Steve showed him the truth of what he really was. 

Jared would find him in the break room, in the cafeteria, at the coffee cart around the corner, in the elevator. Anywhere and everywhere Jensen could possibly have been alone, Jared was there with his endearingly shaggy hair, his puppy dog eyes, and his slides-through-your-heart-like-a-hot-dagger smile. He was just so damn kind and genuine that Jensen often found himself with a rogue flicker of hope in his chest when Jared was around, and making sure he wasn’t smiling when he left work had become a herculean effort. Basically, he was genetically engineered to make Jensen’s life a living hell. 

Trying to keep Jared’s existence from Steve was almost as hard as keeping Steve happy. But, just like everything else in his life, he was bound to fuck that up, too. 

It was a Tuesday, and on Tuesdays, Steve liked to pick Jensen up and take him to a local hibachi place to show him off to his work buddies. On Mondays, he’d always made sure not to hit him where it would show for that specific reason. This particular Tuesday, Steve had dressed him in a light grey button-up with an olive-green, textured tie, and his satiny grey suit jacket and matching slacks that had been a Christmas gift to be worn for special occasions. 

That morning, as they refreshed their coffee, Jared had commented on how the tie made his eyes pop. Jensen had blushed and forgotten to add water to his espresso before he all but ran back to his desk. When he’d taken a sip of the concentrated brew, he’d sputtered and splashed some on his tie. He had cursed himself. He’d had one job, to stay clean and look presentable at dinner, then he had to go and stain his tie. Steve had picked it out especially for the day, so it wasn’t like he could just change ties. Steve would know, and then ask why he’d spilled coffee on himself. Jensen could not let Steve know about Jared. He planned to keep his jacket buttoned to cover it. 

Steve noticed right away that Jensen sat without unbuttoning his jacket. "Who sits down with their jacket buttoned?" Steve had reprimanded him under his breath, applying sharp pressure to Jensen’s inner thigh. Then, when Jensen unbuttoned his jacket, Steve zeroed in on the coffee stain. He pressed his knee into Jensen’s leg all through dinner but thankfully didn’t say a word in front of his work friends, having decided to squeeze the back of his neck or his shoulder instead. It must have looked like loving touches because his friends only commented on how well they looked together, and not how much pain Jensen was in. 

Steve insisted on picking up the tab, and that his friends all go ahead without them, leaving him with Jensen alone at the table. Jensen looked around nervously. The restaurant wasn’t full, but there were enough people that Steve might not say anything, or get too rough with him. On his second pass around the room, his eyes landed on a crop of shaggy hair he would be able to recognize in any crowd. 

Jensen had the worst luck, that night—of all nights—Jared had picked the same restaurant they frequented, to have dinner. The only thing Jensen could think to do was act like he didn’t know Jared. He could tell him later that he didn’t recognize him outside of the office, or that the lighting was too dim for him to have been sure that it was him. Either way, Jensen had to keep Steve away from Jared. His eyes flickered from Jared before Steve could notice and studied his fingernails beneath the table cloth. 

After he settled the bill, Steve grabbed Jensen’s arm, hard, and yanked him out of his seat. 

Jensen flushed and looked around to see if anyone had noticed, of course, Jared had. Jensen tried to get his arm out of Steve’s hand. “You’re hurting me, and people are watching. Please,” he begged, hoping the threat of prying eyes would calm Steve’s temper. 

“You think anyone here gives a shit about you? No one would care if I bent you over this table and fucked you raw while you screamed and cried for your mama. Hell, next time we’re here I’ll let the boys have a go at that ass and see if anyone says a damn thing.” Steve hissed in his ear while grabbing a handful of his ass to prove his point. “Might even be able to charge admission! What do you think, Jenny? Forty, fifty bucks a pop?”

Jensen knew Steve was right, he was nobody that anyone would get in a fuss over, no point in trying to argue that. Steve really could do whatever he wanted to him, and nobody would know or care, at least, not until his mama called asking for him. “Just, at least wait until we get outside.”

“You’re not in any condition to tell me how to behave in public.” His voice was getting louder with every word. “You can’t even bother to show up to such a nice place without ruined clothes! You’re a pitiful disgrace!” 

Jensen was studying the table cloth when a strong, smooth-as-honey voice interrupted Steve’s tirade. “Excuse me, but you’re the one acting disgracefully.”

“And who the fuck are you?”

_No, no, no, nonononononono_. “I’m Jared, I work with Jensen over at Carlson’s Pulp,” Jared answered, easy as anything, and offered Steve his hand. 

Steve shot Jensen a look that Jensen knew meant that they’d "discuss" his omission at home, in private. “Really? Never heard of you,” Steve responded then gripped Jared’s hand. 

They held onto the handshake longer than was strictly necessary, Jensen supposed that each man was trying to exert their dominance over the other as if Jensen were worth fighting over. Steve couldn’t give a rats-ass about Jensen, maybe if Jared “won” the handshake, Steve would just send him home with Jared. Jensen could dream… sometimes. 

Jared tilted his head toward Jensen and released Steve’s hand. “You good?”

Steve’s arm unfurled around Jensen’s back and his fingers pinched at his side. Jensen hoped that he suppressed his flinch enough for Jared not to pick up on it. “Yeah, everything is fine. I’m sorry for my bad manners, Jared, this is my boyfriend, Steve Carlson. Steve, this is Jared; he’s new.”

He prayed to anyone that would listen that Jared went with his half-truth. He wasn’t so new, but maybe that would pacify Steve’s rage at not hearing of Jared before. Jared’s jaw tightened and he raised his eyebrows at Jensen, a clear invite to let him know that things weren’t actually "fine." Jensen just pulled the corner of his mouth into a smirk and looked to Steve, he couldn’t bear for Jared to see him like this. His carefully curated outside world was crashing in around him; with Jared standing so close to Steve, Jensen could hardly breathe. _What would Jared think of me now? Unable to even sit through a nice dinner without wrecking everyone’s pleasant evening_. Maybe Steve would be so pissed that tonight would be the night that he’d go too far, then Jensen wouldn’t have to know what Jared thought of him.

“Alrighty, then. Y’all have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jensen.” Jared smiled like molasses over warm biscuits and turned around to leave. 

Steve nuzzled into Jensen’s ear. “I’m gonna take this out of your ass when we get home.”

Jensen’s blood ran cold at the threat in Steve’s voice. It wasn’t so much the words, nothing he could do to him could be any worse than almost killing him that one time, but Steve was more pissed than Jensen had ever heard him sound before. There was more than just the ardent disdain that was always there, more than the disappointment and the blind hatred that Jensen had come to expect. Steve sounded possessive and _threatened_. Jensen was going to have to quit his job and never see Jared again. All the way home he was mentally packing his desk and deciding who to give which projects to after he was gone. 

Steve didn’t give Jensen time to get out of the car, cracking his head on the threshold as he ripped him from the vehicle. Jensen lost his footing stepping onto the curb, and Steve dragged him across the walkway to the door, ruining his shoes. Once he opened the door, Steve shoved him so hard into the entryway that Jensen fell to the floor, scrambling on his knees to stand up before Steve’s foot could connect with the side of his head. He was so dizzy and disoriented that he couldn’t tell which way was up, and which way he should crawl to seek shelter. He could usually buy himself a little time if he could get behind the sofa, or under a stool at the kitchen counter. 

“Think you can just bat those long lashes at anyone with a dick and they’ll fuck you, huh? Like you’re worth the effort! You’re so pathetic! Can’t even dress yourself without help! Can’t even drink a cup of fucking coffee without spilling it all over yourself. You should be glad I didn’t make you go wait in the car after you tried to sit down at dinner with your jacket buttoned! You knew how important tonight was. I’m so ashamed of you. What am I going to do with you? You never listen to me, all you ever do is try to embarrass me, and make me hurt you. Why do you want me to hurt you so badly?” Steve was bent over Jensen with a handful of the hair at the top of Jensen’s head, holding their faces together. 

Jensen screamed as Steve’s closed fist slammed into his face, his eye felt like it burst open. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you so mad! Please, stop!” The words sounded wet and forced from his mouth. 

“Do you like it? You do, don’t you? You like it when I hurt you. You think _Jared_ would even look at you if he knew how twisted you were? How sick you are! How you can’t even get it up anymore? Jesus, Jensen, you’re not even worth fucking! You think he’d just let you suck him off? Your chapped lips wrapped around his skinny, little dick! You are such a slut! Maybe I should whore you out to the boys at work, at least I’d get something from having to take care of you all the damn time.” 

As Steve accused and speculated, he hit and drug and kicked Jensen around the house. Jensen’s ribs were sore from being kicked while on the ground, the back of his head hurt from being shoved against the wall, his face was wet, whether from tears or bleeding, Jensen couldn’t be sure.

“Maybe Jared would pay to get a piece of that ass, you think he would?”

Steve was relentless in his attack, and Jensen was powerless to defend himself. He’d learned quickly that fighting back only made Steve hit harder. His shoulder felt like it was going to pop out of the socket from how hard Steve was twisting it behind his back as he bent Jensen over the kitchenette. Then his pants were around his ankles, and Steve spit at his ass to lube his way as he shoved into him, mercifully still slightly open from that morning’s awakening. Thank goodness Steve preferred the slide when he fucked him, instead of the pull of their skin together if he’d have fucked him dry. Small miracles. 

The only thing Jensen could hear was his own erratic heartbeat and the sound of blood rushing in his ears. He only felt a firm pressure in his ass for a split second, then it was gone. Abruptly, his shoulder didn’t hurt as bad, and Jensen could move his body. His ass was no longer cold from the artificial air of the house, he was warm and wrapped in something soft, and he was flying. His head spun and vision blurred, so he closed his eyes. Behind his eyelids, he saw dancing lights, red and blue and amber, all strobing in a hypnotic dance. 

When he was no longer flying, he was sat on something cold and unyielding. A hand pressed against the side of his face, and then he heard a voice he was certain he would never have heard again. “Jensen, please. Are you okay? Say something,” the voice pleaded with him.

“Jared?” Jensen grinned just before everything tilted and went fuzzy, then black. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may notice the total chapter count changed... I'm an idiot and miscounted the parts! So, bonus part for y'all!! 
> 
> Observations of non-con, emotional/verbal/physical assaults, hospitalization, a bit of fluffy office flirtation, angst
> 
> Every part will alternate between the boys.

Jared loved his new job. It was great to get away from the bustle of San Antonio and settle into the quieter city life of Richardson, Texas. The trade skills he got from his internship transferred well enough into the little printing company that ran most of the business in town. The churches, the hospital, and the schools, right on down to the Girl and Boy Scout troops. Carlson’s Pulp Inc. was the place to go to in Richardson for your paper needs. From major campaign portfolios and informational booklets, to waterproof paper ads for missing pets, Carlson’s was where you went for paper and printing. 

One other thing, or person, that made Jared’s transition easier was Jensen. Not only was he stunningly beautiful, but he was also kind and funny and not nearly as full of himself as he probably should have been; especially given how pretty and smart he was. After asking around the office, Jared gathered that Jensen was shy and mostly kept to himself after almost every friend he’d ever made had left work suddenly and without warning. There were also rumors that he had dated the CEO’s son in college, but hardly anyone knew anything about what his personal life was like at the present. 

His eyes were almost always on Jensen if they could be, and one day, he found an opening. Jensen was pulling a bulk ream of paper out to load into the copy printer and jerked as if he was in pain. Jared was there as quickly as he was able to unburden him. He assisted in loading the paper and tried not to pry when Jensen had evaded his questions about how he’d hurt himself. After introductions were made, Jared went out of his way to make Jensen feel welcomed and included in the office. Jared hated for anyone to feel left out and ostracized. 

It had taken a while, but after getting Jensen to break out of his shell, Jared started noticing more of the little things about him. How he never seemed refreshed after the weekend, how some days he would fall asleep into his coffee, and others he would be full of so much anxious energy he was damn-near bouncing off the walls. Sometimes Jensen would get a glazed look in his eyes before leaving for the day, and he would hover, almost as if he was waiting for some kind of invitation, to go out or to stay at work longer, anything to keep him from going home. In the beginning, Jared had hoped it was because Jensen liked him. Then, one Tuesday, Jared had watched Jensen get into a shiny silver Volvo with an angry-looking man who instantly yelled at Jensen while Jensen kept his eyes down, even as he buckled his seatbelt. 

Ice ran through Jared’s veins; suddenly everything made sense. Why Jensen looked tired all the time, why he seemed to relish their conversations and the opportunity to laugh. Why he would never answer any of his questions about his injuries, just brushing them off as if they’d happen to anyone. Jared had experienced this after his little sister, Megan, had ended up at his brother, Jeff’s, hospital, having “fallen down the stairs” with some help from her ex. Phillip was now in jail for assault and attempted murder and had court-mandated anger management classes to boot. If only he had seen it sooner. He could have said something, asked the right questions, maybe let it slip that he had helped his little sister out of a bind and that there was nothing to be ashamed about. Jared was nauseous just thinking about it, that another person in his life could be in this situation. 

Without giving it a second thought, Jared followed the obnoxious car through town to a fancy hibachi place. It was pretentious, and if Jared hadn’t already suspected that Jensen’s boyfriend was a Grade-A douche-canoe, his choice of restaurant had sealed the deal. He found street parking on the next block and made sure the pair had been seated before he walked up. He agreed to a shared table, since he was on his own, and made sure to take a seat against the wall, facing Jensen. He hadn’t thought about ordering until the waiter came up and asked what he wanted; he ordered soup.

Jensen was clearly uncomfortable the entire meal, barely eating, not talking at all unless he was spoken to directly, and his boyfriend was obviously using physical cues to keep him "in control." It took all of Jared’s willpower to stay seated as he watched the man squeeze Jensen’s neck when he would begin to get animated about the conversation, or reach under the table, to presumably pinch his thighs when he started to get restless. Jared wanted to march across the room and punch that man in the face, whoever he was, and haul Jensen out of there and take him someplace safe. Granted, from experience, he knew he couldn’t force Jensen to go anywhere. That had to be Jensen’s choice, first and foremost. 

“They’re in here every Tuesday,” a kindly older woman explained to him. “That poor boy. We’ve tried to talk to him, but he’s rarely ever alone. We don’t want to get him into any more trouble. Sweet boy like that deserves better.” She nodded at him knowingly. 

The man was clearly still pissed and had insisted that his friends all leave while he paid the bill. Once the waitress walked away, with what was most likely a subpar tip for their size group, the man grabbed Jensen by the arm and yanked him up. 

“I’ll work on that, ma’am. Thank you. Have a lovely evening.” Jared got up, tossed a twenty-dollar bill on the table, and strode across the room. 

Jared was approaching the pair as the other man got louder and louder, ending with “—such a disgrace!”

“Excuse me, but you’re the one acting disgracefully,” Jared interrupted. 

“And who the fuck are you?” the man asked, having obviously knocked back too many sakes.

Confidently and with as much finality as he could muster, Jared answered, “I’m Jared, I work with Jensen over at Carlson’s Pulp,” then offered the man his hand. 

The man turned a predatorily angry gaze to Jensen. “Really? Never heard of you,” he responded before gripping Jared’s hand. 

The man tried to overpower Jared’s handshake, but Jared was a big, strong man, who also knew how to give a damn-memorable handshake all his own. Besides, if Jensen was to be the prize that went to whoever won this particular handshake, Jared was not one to back down from an honorable challenge. If only saving Jensen’s life could have been as easy as a handshake. 

Jared kept a solid grip on his hand and looked over to Jensen, eyeing him sincerely. “You good?” He’d hoped his unspoken offer was clear;  _ one word or nod from you and this guy is straddling the onion volcano and we’re outta here! _

The man wrapped his arm possessively around Jensen’s back and Jensen tried to hide a flinch, probably from a well-placed pinch on his side. “Yeah, everything is fine. I’m sorry for my bad manners, Jared, this is my boyfriend, Steve Carlson. Steve, this is Jared; he’s new.”

The look in Jensen’s eyes was begging him to confirm the partial truth, which he would, of course, without question. Carlson, Steve Carlson; so the rumors of Jensen dating the CEO’s son in college were true, and the fact that they were still together was a bit of a secret, for obvious reasons. That also explained how anyone Jensen had made friends with at work had suddenly found themselves otherwise employed. Steve Carlson was a despicable, manipulative human being, and Jared was going to expose him to the world and free Jensen from his domination.

“Alrighty, then. Y’all have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow, Jensen.” Jared smiled at Jensen, hoping that he would know from the look that he was no longer in this alone, that Jared was there with him to fight in his corner. 

Jared watched as the gallant grin on Jensen’s face soured into a grimace when Steve whispered a threat into his ear before he was led from the restaurant and out onto the curb. He saw Steve cuff Jensen in the back of the head, which might have seemed innocuous to any passerby, but Jared knew it for what it was, barely contained rage, spilling out. There was no way in hell that Jared was going to let Jensen out of his sight. He ran to his car after he saw Jensen get buckled into his, and had the non-emergency police operator on the line before he had even put his keys in the ignition. 

“I need to report a domestic violence situation.”

“Okay, what’s the address?” She sounded bored, like her answering this phone call couldn’t lead to someone’s life being saved. 

“I’m not sure, I’m following them now.”

“Sir, are you calling in a crime that hasn’t happened yet, and admitting to stalking someone to their place of residence?” She seemed to perk up a little more at that.

_ Shit _ , if that’s what it took to get the cops to come out and be there, then Jared would take it. “Yes, he’s a coworker of mine, and his boyfriend was being physically violent with him at dinner, so I am following them back to their house to make sure nothing else happens.”

“Do you think that your friend’s life is in danger? Has he told you these things?”

Jared exhaled, no, Jensen never told him anything about it, which only solidified his suspicions. “Well, no, not exactly. But I saw him physically hurting him in public and he threatened him on their way out.”

“And what did he say?”

Jared was losing his hope in the RPD. “He said that he was going to take it out of his ass when they got home.”

“Sir, you do know that how they decide to express themselves in the privacy of their own—”

“They were NOT talking about having SEX. Jensen is TERRIFIED of him. I can’t just sit by and do nothing while Steve—please, you have to believe me!”

Her voice hardened. “Where are you heading now?”

_ Great, now I’m going to get arrested for stalking _ . “We just turned north on Hemlock.”

“All cars: be advised, they are arriving at the Carlson residence, Carlson has most likely been drinking, proceed with caution, there is a civilian on scene.”

“Are you…?”

“This isn’t the first time someone has called in on behalf of Jensen Ackles concerning Steve Carlson.” She paused. “There can’t be very many Jensen and Steves that live over in that neighborhood, I took a chance. Stay with me while you wait for the patrol cars to arrive, they should be there in five minutes.”

“Thank you, but if I hear anything, I’m getting Jensen out of there.”

“Sir, I should inform you that these calls are recorded for quality assurance and in the event that they need to be used in evidence in the court of law.”

“Duly noted.” Jared nodded his head. If he was going to do anything illegal, he’d hang up first, the police would be right behind him. 

By the time Jared parked a few spaces away from Steve’s driveway, Steve was yanking Jensen from the car. Jared could have sworn that he heard the hard  _ thump _ of his head on the side of the car, and the scruff of his shoes along the sidewalk as he was dragged to the door. Jared reached for his door, just as soon as Steve opened theirs and threw Jensen into the house. On his feet and slamming the car door shut, Jared whipped his head around, searching for the officers who were supposedly on their way. He heard no sirens,  _ would there be sirens or just flashing lights? _ Jared wasn’t going to take the chance of something horrendous happening to Jensen while he waited for the authorities, so he hung up his phone and ran toward the house. 

The door was shut and the curtains were drawn, but there was the unmistakable sound of furniture being violently rearranged and muffled pleas. Steve’s yelling could be heard through the walls, telling Jensen he was worthless and how nobody would want him, no one would miss his dead body. That couldn’t be further from the truth. When Jared heard  _ his _ name, then Jensen crying out before going eerily silent, Jared had no choice but to bust through the door. 

Chairs and lamps and tables were scattered all around the room, stools were strewn across the floor, and when Jared rounded the corner into the kitchen, he almost blacked out with rage. Colored lights lit up from behind him and he could hear the muffled sounds of voices over walkie-talkies as the police arrived in the yard. Feeling much more confident, now that he had backup, Jared ripped Steve away from where he had Jensen pinned down to the kitchen table, arm twisted behind his back and pants down to his ankles. It was the most disturbing thing Jared had ever witnessed with his own eyes. He threw Steve to the other end of the kitchen and reached down to pull Jensen’s pants up before more people poured into his personal space. Jensen was dazed, so Jared grabbed an afghan from a nearby chair and lifted Jensen securely into his arms to carry him from the house. Steve was cursing and threatening him even as the officers placed handcuffs, none too gently, around his wrists. 

The switchboard operator had had the foresight to call for an EMT unit, and with the state that Jensen was in, there was no question that he needed one. Jared walked straight over to the back of the ambulance, then sat Jensen on the end. He wrapped his hands around Jensen’s face, begging him to see him, to respond to him. 

His eyes seemed to focus for a moment then Jensen smiled and said, “Jared?” before he passed out. Luckily he was already in the back of the ambulance, so the team only had to set him up properly in the stretcher before they could begin to run their tests and prepare him for transport. 

Jared refused to leave his side, insisting that he was the closest thing to family that Jensen had in town, and that’s why he knew what was going on with Steve. There was nothing that would get Jared to leave Jensen’s side now that he was there. If he could get away with saying they were affianced, he would, but with Jensen’s dating history with Steve, that wasn’t a likely story these fine medical professionals would buy. A cousin would be the most believable. He figured he could piece together enough of his childhood to get away with knowing him that long. 

He would have to get his parents’ info to call them, um Debbie and Albert? Maybe start with his little sister Mack, she seemed like she’d be an easier liaison. If she’s anything like Megan, she’d have about 500-million questions. Regardless, he had to let Jensen’s family know what was going on. Jensen was unconscious from a beating he got from his boyfriend, and Jared was there to watch over him. Not that any of them would know who Jared was if Steve hadn’t. 

As he listened to the artificial beat of Jensen’s heart and watched the flutter of his maddeningly long lashes across his cheeks, Jared flushed at the thought of Jensen not telling anyone about all the time they’d spent together. It made Jared feel like he was a special secret meant only for Jensen. He also tried very hard for the  _ why _ of that secret not to shatter the warmth that surrounded his heart. 

About a mile away from the hospital, Jensen jerked awake, violently pulling at wires and the straps that held him in place. 

Jared grabbed his hand, careful of the tube laced into the vein along the back. “Jensen, you’re safe.”

“Jared,” Jensen sobbed. “Jared, Steve can’t get you, too. You have to—”

“Shh, shh. Jensen, you’re safe, Steve can’t get you anymore.”

“But you….”

“Steve never laid a hand on me.” Jared smiled, feeling a vicious sort of triumph spread through him.

Jensen closed his eyes, a small, relieved smile on his lips as he drifted off again. “Good, that’s good.” 

Hours later, Jared was sitting alone in the overly sterile waiting room in the hospital desperately trying to hack into Jensen’s phone. He obviously didn’t have Jensen’s face, and he didn’t know nearly enough about him to try to guess at a six-digit combination of numbers. Probably one of his sibling’s birthdays, if Jensen was as predictable as Jared was. When he was about to give up hope, there was an incoming call from "Mack Attack."

Jared’s heart leaped and he had to swipe twice to answer the call. “Mack!”

“Jensen?” She sounded unsure, with reason.

Faced with actually having to explain the situation to someone he’d never met before was proving to be too much for him. How does he tell this girl that her brother was in an abusive relationship and that he’s now in the hospital because of it? He couldn’t; he wouldn’t. 

“No, I’m sorry. My name is Jared.”

She sobbed into the phone. “He’s finally done it, hasn’t he? That asshole finally killed my brother!”

So, his family did know, or at least Mack had suspected. “No, Mackenzie, Jensen is going to be alright. We’re at the hospital now, Steve is in custody.”

She cried, sounding more relieved than anguished. “No offense, but who are you? Are you a cop, you don’t sound like a cop, and you’re not a doctor.”

She’s just as quick as Jensen, Jared smiled to himself. “No, I’m not. I, um, work with Jensen and I got a feeling. Do you all live close by? Should I stay here? I don’t want to intrude.”

“My brother would probably be dead right now without your intrusion, so please, intrude away.” Jared hadn’t given himself permission to think of it that way, but the truth of it made his stomach sour. “I’m about two hours away, mom and dad are just as far, and Josh is working, I’m not sure how quickly he’d be able to get there.”

“I’m just glad I had his phone to answer your call. I was beginning to think that I’d have to hack into his employee records to get in touch with his family.” Jared laughed, and Mackenzie echoed the clipped sound.

“Thank you for being there, I can’t even—”

“Don’t even think about it.” A doctor came through the door and started to approach Jared. “I think the doctor is coming, hang on.”

“Alright.”

“Mr. Padalecki? You came in with Jensen Ackles, yes?”

“Yes, that’s right. How is he? Is he going to be alright?” Jared could hear the desperation in his own voice. The doctor glanced at the phone in his hand, still on an active call. “This is Jensen’s sister, I’m letting the, uh, rest of the family know what’s going on.”

“Right, so you would be his…?”

Jared cleared his throat. “Cousin, on his mother’s side.” He added a grin and an eyebrow to hopefully convey his sincerity. 

“Okay.” The doctor was not convinced. “Well, he’s out of surgery. He’s got three broken ribs, some major lacerations, a contusion on the back of his head, and a severe concussion.”

“But he’s going to be alright.”

“Yes, he will make a full physical recovery, in time.” He paused, as he considered whether or not to continue. “We’re going to have a psychiatrist visit him in the morning after he gets some rest.” Jared nodded. “He’s still sedated and is in recovery now if you’d like to see him. The nurse will walk you down there.”

The doctor shook Jared’s hand and left him. “Mackenzie, did you hear all that?”

“Yeah, thanks,  _ cuz _ , and call me Mack.” She laughed. “Well, I’m going to call mom and dad and let Josh know. Tell him we’re on our way; we’ll be there as soon as we can.”

“I’ll let him know. See you soon, Mack.” Jared disconnected the call and walked over to the nurse’s station to go see Jensen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think of Jared talking to Mack? How do you think Jensen's going to react to him talking to his family? How are we feeling so far?? 
> 
> Tune in Friday to see Jensen's reaction to everything that's happened in the last few hours.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry I'm a day late posting this! Watching the finale yesterday morning before work really messed me up, then I had to run errands and I went straight to bed when I got home. Hopefully, going forward, I will be able to keep my OG posting schedule! 
> 
> Waking up in the hospital, beginning to recover from domestic violence, self-deprecating feelings, using humor as a defensive mechanism, PTSD, jealousy, passing out from pain killers?

Jensen’s entire body hurt. Multiple places on his head, his neck, his shoulder, and elbow, his back and sides… his ass hurt, but not as bad as it should have, even the bottoms of his feet were sore. There was this awful ringing sound, he must have been out for a while this time. He wondered what sort of mess he was going to wake up in. 

Something felt off, though. He was surrounded by the scent of bleach, he was wrapped in bandages and blankets, and there was also the smell of coffee. He turned his face to lean toward the aroma and was rewarded with a warm laugh and a nose full of the bittersweet steam. When he went to open his eyes to see who his savior was—because it sure as hell wasn’t going to be Steve—he realized that he couldn’t open his left eye. Not only would it not open, but it seemed to be taped shut and covered in gauze. When he raised his left hand to inspect it, it was drowning in tubes, some connected to the line in his vein, while others were just hanging around. 

“Here,” a quiet voice instructed, as he grabbed his right—needleless—hand, and cupped his fingers around the coffee cup. The warmth felt hot to his chilly fingers. Then his heart stopped when he recognized the voice. 

His good eye widened and his head jerked painfully to take in the sight of a very ragged Jared sitting next to his fucking hospital bed.  _ How did he know where to find me? That I would even need finding? _ He had a vague memory of flying out of his house, then a voice begging for an answer. “Jared?” His voice cracked, either from the screaming, the drugs, or from disuse. 

Jared simply smiled at him and kept his distance, although Jensen could see his fingers literally squirming to get closer. So strange for him not to reach out and—but, of course, now that he  _ knew _ , Jared wouldn’t want to touch him again. Jensen was filthy. Which begged the question as to why Jared was still there at all, Jensen was a waste of space. 

“Jensen,” Jared’s voice was so soft, too soft, it wasn’t what he deserved. “Whatever you’re thinking right now, it’s not true. You’ve been through a terrible thing, and your brain needs time to recover, too. You’ve also got a concussion. The doctors asked me to ask you some questions if you woke up and I was in here.”

Jensen gaped at him, but nodded, unsure of anything that was going on. Jared reached for the side of the bed and pressed the nurse call button and picked up a notepad.

“What is your name?”

“Jensen Ross Ackles.”

“Your middle name is Ross?” Jensen nodded and Jared smiled to himself then continued. “And, your birthday?”

“March first, 1978.”

“And do you know today’s date?”

“Well, judging by the room and the clothes I’m in, I’m going to go with spring, sometime in the late seventies.”

“Jensen,” Jared admonished but laughed all the same.

“And who is the president?” Jared sounded like he hated to ask this question in particular.

“That would depend on the actual date. Shall we call it Reagan or Bush, Sr?”

“Jensen, please, this is serious.”

“And I seriously don’t wanna say it. Haven’t I been through enough?"

“Touché, I’ll let it pass.” Jared paused and sat the notepad down. “Your family are on their way.”

Jensen gathered some blanket between his fingers to play with. “All of them?”

Jared nodded. “I talked to Mackenzie, she said that she’ll be riding in with your parents and that your brother will be on his way as soon as possible.”

“Sounds like Josh, never one to spoil all the fun. How did you talk to Mack?  _ Why _ are you even still here?”

“About that, I told the doctors that I’m your cousin, on your mom’s side.” That wasn’t exactly what he had meant by the question, but Jensen nodded, still counting the fibers of the blanket that was between his fingers. “I had your phone after they took you to surgery, I was trying to get into it so I could let your family know that you were in the hospital. I was about to give up hope, but then Mack called and I answered.” 

“What did she—how did you—how did she—” Jensen was having a hard time figuring out how to ask what he desperately wanted to know without actually asking. Thankfully, Jared understood. 

“She knew already. When I answered your phone… she—well, she assumed you were dead. That he had killed you.”

Tears welled up in Jensen’s eyes, spilling over from the one that wasn’t bandaged. If Mack knew, everyone knew; everyone knew what a disappointment Jensen was, and now they were all on their way to see him in the fucking  _ hospital _ , all because he couldn’t drink his coffee properly. Because he’d let himself get too close to Jared. 

Jared reached a hand toward him, then pulled it back before making contact; not that Jensen could blame him, he was literally damaged goods. “Jensen, you’re safe now, and they love you. She was so relieved that you were okay and that  _ he _ was finally in custody.”

There was something strange about the way Jared purposefully didn’t say Steve’s name. It was bad enough that Jared had seen them, he was at least at the restaurant, but his family knew. How could he ever face any of them again? 

“How did you… know I was here?” Jensen bailed on asking how Jared knew to come after him, how he knew what Steve would do.

“I rode with you in the ambulance.” Jared was quiet, not offering any more information. 

There was a long moment of silence, neither wanting to actually have a conversation about what had happened the night before. Jensen was burning with questions, but frozen, unable to ask them. 

A knock on the door startled Jensen enough that he jumped and a dribble of coffee spilled out of the sip hole and Jensen felt rage rip through him. “FUCK!” he screamed as he threw the offending cup across the room. He watched with morbid emptiness as its contents dripped haphazardly down the wall; dark brown against creamy beige.

Jared hadn’t even flinched. Which pissed Jensen off as well, but he didn’t comment on it. 

“Jensen, I see that you’re awake and have some of your strength back,” a friendly looking man in a white lab coat said by way of a greeting. “I’m Dr. Krushnic. How are you feeling?” He smiled at him, politely ignoring the coffee on the wall, then picked up his chart and began flipping through pages. 

“Physically or mentally?” Jensen snarked, not quite sure why he was so uncomfortable that the doctor was there. That  _ Jared  _ was still there. 

“Both, whichever you’d like to answer first.”

Jared leaned back in his seat and fidgeted. Obviously uncomfortable being in the room with him. 

“I hurt, all over. I’m confused and frustrated and I have no idea what’s going on.”

“That’s to be expected, you took a couple of rather nasty blows to your head. Would you like Mr. Padalecki to stay while I go over your chart?”

Jensen shrugged. “‘S up to him, I guess.”

“No,” Jared said calmly, eyes gentle and sincere as he leaned in closer to Jensen. “It’s up to  _ you _ . If you don’t want me to be in here, I’ll go wait outside.”

“Ok, whatever.” Jensen turned to look at the doctor’s chest and away from Jared’s intense concern. “He can stay. What’s the damage?”

“Well, you’ve got a concussion from the contusion on the back of your head, and the hit you took to your left zygomati—your left temple, fractured the bone and ruptured your ophthalmic artery, but there is no permanent damage to the eye. You have three broken ribs, all of which will heal perfectly fine with time and restricted movement, and you have a variety of other minor cuts and bruising over your arms, legs, back, chest, and glutes. There was also tearing in and around your anus, indicative of repeated sexual assault.”

Nausea twisted in Jensen’s stomach, and with the suddenness of the statement, he shifted uncomfortably in the bed, the shift made him feel the truth of the doctor’s words. Jared sat stock still beside him, saying nothing, hardly even breathing. To hear everything that Steve had done to him explained as if they were items on a grocery list made Jensen feel more exposed than if he had been sitting there naked with his ass in the air. At least his mother wasn’t there to hear any of it… yet. 

When all else fails, use humor. “Jesus, doc. Am I pregnant, too?”

The good doctor merely squinted his eyes at him. “We have a psychiatrist coming by after you’ve had breakfast for you to talk about anything you may need to talk about. We’ll be keeping you a few days for observation, and to ensure minimal movement, with those broken ribs. If you need anything, just press the call button. A nurse will be by in a few minutes with some food and some more morphine for the pain.”

Jensen nodded as the doctor left, then resumed his thread count of the blanket between his fingers. 

“You don’t have to be here, ya know?” Jensen finally said, unsure whether he wanted Jared to go or not; and he certainly wasn’t ready or willing to admit how desperately he wished that Jared would  _ want _ to stay with him.

“I know,” Jared said, slowly. “After… everything, I’m not leaving you alone.” Jared sounded resolved, determined. 

Jensen couldn’t understand him. Couldn’t wrap his mind around why Jared would still be there after knowing how broken Jensen was, literally. He could be spending his time doing so many other—more worthwhile—things, not holding a bedside vigil for Jensen after getting beaten by his boyfriend.

A quieter knock pulled Jensen from his bitter thoughts. The door opened to a small woman, with long, dark hair. She smiled, friendly at Jared, then turned to Jensen. 

“It’s nice to see you awake.” She turned in the door and pulled a cart into the room that held a covered dish and another cup of coffee. It didn’t smell appetizing. “I come bearing food and drugs!”

Jared laughed, and Jensen side-eyed them both.  _ Did they know each other? _

“Here ya go,” she said as she put the plate and cup on a table and swiveled it to be over Jensen’s lap. “Jared went down to the cart to get you the good stuff,” she whispered conspiratorially. “This coffee is sludge! But the fruit is fresh, and the pancakes aren’t terrible.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jared shake his head and nod toward the wall. The wall that was still dripping with Jensen’s "good stuff" coffee, which made Jensen feel even worse about his outburst. 

“Well, you put enough cream and sugar in anything and it’ll taste just fine. You eat up and I’ll be back to shoot you up!” 

“Thanks, Gen,” Jared said as she made a mark on Jensen’s chart.

“You got it, stud.” She winked at him, then left.

“She seems sweet.” Jensen tried to keep his tone light.

“Yeah, she’s been in and out of here all night.” Jared yawned.

“Have you been here the whole time?” Jensen couldn’t mask his shock.

“I told you. I’m not leaving you alone. She offered to sit with you while I went down for coffee; insisted actually.” 

Jensen had nothing to say to that, so he poked at what he assumed were his pancakes. He really wasn’t hungry, could hardly think about putting food in his body, but he needed to have something on his stomach when _nurse_ _Gen_ came back to give him his pain killers. The throbbing in his head was enough of a motivator for him to try a few bites of pancake before abandoning it for the cup of fruit and the measly strips of bacon. He even took a couple of bites of the processed-looking sunny-side-up egg. 

Gen came back, as promised, and unstoppered a syringe to administer through Jensen’s IV. She cleared his food tray, untouched coffee, and trash off of the table. Then she rotated the table back around to the side and placed a big plastic cup with a straw hanging out of it close to the edge, within his restricted reach. 

“You need to drink plenty of water, and get lots of rest,” Gen instructed. “You, too.” She shot a pointed look at Jared who offered her a weak, half-assed smile in return. 

The door clicked shut leaving Jensen alone with Jared again. His head was starting to hurt less, but his thoughts were more muddled. He was so confused about everything that had happened since the previous afternoon. 

“Did you—”  _ follow us home, see everything, sleep at all, already know what was going on? _ “Um, call into work already?”

“Yeah, I told them that you’d had an accident and that I was with you at the hospital because your family doesn’t live in town. I hope that’s okay.”

“That you called, or that you stayed?”

“Both… either.” Jared shrugged, looking at his feet.

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I just don’t understand  _ why _ . Why did you say something, why were you  _ there _ , why are you  _ still here _ ?” He didn’t know why he was letting himself get so emotional, but his eyes pricked with tears as he sat there with his breath caught in his throat.

Jared honest to God flushed; pink-tinged cheeks under tired, darkly-bagged eyes. Then Jared quirked his lip at the corner, and Jensen’s head felt heavy so he had to lay his head down. 

“Um, well, I was kinda hoping that was obvious.”

Jensen reached a finger out and traced one of Jared’s cheekbones with it. “You’re all pink.” That’s not  _ at all  _ what he’d wanted to say, or  _ do _ .

Jared flushed even redder and moved to cover Jensen’s hand and hold it to the side of his face. Jared leaned into the touch, and Jensen felt like his body was made of lead butterflies. He smiled to himself and leaned deeper into his pillow, he felt warm and safe and something else that he couldn’t find the word for. 

Jensen struggled to stay awake while Jared struggled to tell him… something but by the time Jared was able to get anything out, the warmth of the morphine had spread through him and all he heard was, “Jensen, I—” before he blacked out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Poor Jensen!!_
> 
> How are we feeling? 
> 
> Tune in Tuesday to meet the Ackles' and see more of what's going on in Jared's head...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of rape and domestic violence, the Ackles' being amazing and supportive, a little self-doubt

Jared was honestly glad for the distraction of Jensen’s family arriving after Jensen had passed out while he was finally telling him how he felt about him.  _ Perfect timing, damn drugs.  _

_"Hey, I know I just saved you from being beaten to death and raped by your boyfriend, but I kinda like you a lot and I’d love to spend more time with you outside of work."_ _Real smooth, Jared._

The Ackles’ came in like a whirlwind; bags of food and trays of coffee were littering every surface, and Jared was made to eat by a very insistent Donna and Alan. Once Jensen’s family was there, Jared felt awkward hanging around, but whenever he tried to leave, they would start telling more stories about when Jensen was a kid. When Jensen was awake, he would laugh shyly and try to hide his embarrassment, which was the most adorable thing Jared had ever seen. 

That was better than the look of shame in his eyes whenever he thought no one was looking at him. The room was full of nervous energy and things that everyone was dying to ask or say, but wouldn’t. 

They all herded into the hall when the psychiatrist came to talk to Jensen, his parents kissing his head carefully, and Mack playfully punching his shoulder on the way out. Jared would have loved to have kissed his head as well, but knew better than to offer such intimate contact. Their relationship had never been like that before, and now sure as hell wasn’t the time to start kissing the man. 

“Okay, well, you’re all here now, so I guess I’ll just—” Jared was interrupted by Donna wrapping him in a bone-crushing hug. 

“We’ll never be able to repay you, Jared. Whatever it was that drove you to follow our boy home… Thank you.” Her eyes were full of unshed tears, and when he looked to Alan, he saw the same fervent appreciation. 

Jared cleared the emotion from his throat. “My little sister, um… was in a similar situation, and I just had a gut feeling.”

“Well, thanks to your guts, I still have two brothers!” Mack said before wrapping her arms around him. 

“You’re very welcome, I never would have forgiven myself if I hadn’t—”

“Don’t even think about it. You did, and he’s safe, and that  _ man _ is finally where he belongs. This is only the beginning, and I hope we’ll be seeing a lot more of you, Jared.” 

“I hope so, too.” Jared smiled and turned to leave.

“Oh, with the way he was looking at you…,” Mack teased.

“Mackenzie Joan!” Donna chastised. 

“What!? If his heart-eyes were any bigger, he’d have busted his bandage!” Mack laughed. 

“Be that as it may, let your brother and Jared figure things out on their own. They’re big boys, and your brother’s got some healing to do before he goes and jumps in with someone else.” 

Jared felt like his skin was actually on fire with embarrassment. 

“Let me walk you out, Jared.”

_ Thank you!  _ “Yes, sir.”

Alan, “ _ not Mr. Ackles _ ,” put an arm around his shoulder as they made their way down the corridor. “I’d like to thank you again, myself, for what you’ve done for my family. We’d known for some time that Steve wasn’t treating him right. He’d never admit to it, and we ran out of ways to try to ask him or get him to get help. He insisted that everything was fine and that Steve was a good man. We just didn’t know what else we could do. If I had known that it was that bad….” 

The hopelessness in Alan’s voice was exactly what his family had felt like when they’d found out about Megan. At least the Ackles’ had known about Jensen’s situation beforehand, Jared wasn’t sure which would be worse. They made their way through the automatic doors that led to the parking lot, from the stale artificial light, into the blinding Texas sun. At least there was a breeze.

“I’m sorry that your sister had to go through anything like what Jensen has, but I can’t say I’m not grateful that you knew what to look out for.” Jared felt much the same way. “Don’t feel like you have to leave, now that we’re here. You’re more than welcome to stay, or come back after you’ve gotten some sleep in your own bed.” Alan smiled and offered Jared his hand.

When Jared took it, Alan pulled him into a half hug, and Jared felt some of the stress and exhaustion leave them both. A long nap in his own bed, a shower, and some clean clothes sounded like heaven. 

Alan gave him a twenty for his Uber to pick up his car and went back inside to join his family. Jared pocketed the money, then got a ping that his driver was pulling up. After they verified that they were each who the other was looking for, Jared got into the back seat, closed his eyes, and leaned against the cool glass of the window, finally able to take a full breath. 

After a quick shower, a four-hour nap, a sandwich, and a thirty-minute debate with himself, he grabbed his keys and wallet and walked out the door. He went to his favorite diner and got a bunch of everything, chicken tenders, burgers, fries, salads, three different types of pies, and five coffees; the works. When he got back to the hospital, he had a sort of nervous feeling in his stomach. He was excited to see the Ackles’ again, and he was happy to be bringing them something other than hospital food, but he was anxious about what Jensen would think about his coming back while he was still there. 

Jensen was very likely humiliated that Jared had seen him in such a vulnerable state. _Am I being invasive or intrusive?_ _Am I being insensitive by showing up again?_ _Sure we’re friendly at work, but this is something completely different. Does Jensen think I’m a stalker? What if he never wants to see me again?_

“Do you need me to get the door for you?” Gen’s voice broke through his reverie, and Jared realized he was standing there staring at Jensen’s hospital room door.

He shook his head. “Yes, please. Thank you.”

The door opened to quiet laughter. When Jared entered the room, Mack was sitting on the bed with a sleeping Jensen, flipping through her phone, and Donna and Alan were sitting in chairs by his bedside. 

“Jared!” Donna whisper-shouted.

Alan jumped up and grabbed the box from Jared. “What have we got here?”

“Fried food!” Mack was off the bed as quickly as possible without jostling Jensen. 

Alan sat the box on the side table and Mack dove in, divvying out food to her parents and grabbing a burger for herself. Jared grabbed a burger and some fries, as well, leaning against the windowsill to eat. When he was halfway through his burger, Gen came in with another chair, and placed it at the foot of the bed facing everyone else, and nodded for Jared to take a seat. 

“Let me know when he eats, I’ll bring him another dose.”

Jared smiled and nodded as he took his seat. “How’s he doing?” Jared asked between bites.

“He’s better than I thought he’d be, honestly. I keep waiting for him to break down or yell at us, or  _ do _ something, but he just sits there, staring at his hands. He smiles and jokes along with us, as you saw, but there’s something, I don’t know… missing.”

“Donna, remember the doctor told us his moods would come and go, he’s been through more than we know, it’s going to take some time for him to process everything.”

Mack grabbed Jensen’s non-IV hand and squeezed it. “He’s a fighter, everything is going to be fine now.” 

“I hope so,” Donna added. “He’s just—”

“Mom, we talked about this. If you’re going to cry, go outside. We need to be strong for him right now.”

“I know, I know, I just can’t help but think about… if Jared hadn’t been there…. ”

“We know, Donna. Why don’t we go for a walk?” Alan gently coaxed her to stand and led her out of the room.

“I know you mean well, but you’ve all been through a tough time, give her a break.” Jared raised his brows at Mack before taking a giant bite out of his burger. 

Mackenzie shrugged unapologetically. “I know. He just worries about  _ everything _ , the last thing I want is him waking up to mom crying over him.”

“Seems like you all worry about each other. That’s what families do.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just been  _ so long _ .”

Jared didn’t want to pry, but he had to ask. “Since you’ve seen him, or…?”

“Since he’s been with that  _ dick-bag _ ; since he’s been  _ allowed _ to come home; since  _ we’ve _ been allowed to visit. Pick one.” 

Jared’s heart sank. “How long?” He didn’t have to specify, she knew what he was asking. 

“His senior year of college, at least. So, about four, maybe five, years?”

Jared sat his burger down. “That whole time?”

Mack smiled at him, then looked down at Jensen, sleeping peacefully. “Maybe not the whole time. There, in the beginning, he seemed happy; glad to have found someone he thought he could spend his life with.” She choked up and looked away from him. “After I fussed at mom.” She rolled her eyes and wiped at her face with her sleeve. 

“It’s been a long day. Where are y’all staying?”

“Dad got a suite at the place right across the street, that way we can be here within a few minutes. I don’t know where we’re going to go once he gets let out. I doubt he’s going to want to go back to Steve’s place.”

“Understandably.” Jared wished he could offer his place, but that didn’t seem right. “He’ll probably wanna be on his own for a while.”

“Maybe. He’s never been good at that, but maybe with everything that’s happened…?”

Jensen mumbled something and smacked his lips together, then opened his eyes. “‘What’s a guy gotta do… to get some food around here’?”

“‘Raph’?” Mack joked. 

“Raph was always my favorite turtle,” Jared said, quietly, since Jensen hadn’t noticed him yet.

“‘Cuz he’s the best.” Jensen smiled at him. “You brought food?”

“Yeah, burgers from that place around the corner from the office. I also have chicken tenders and salad. I didn’t know what everyone would want. It’s wrapped in foil so it’s probably still warm, or I can ask Gen if there’s a microwave somewhere—”

“ _ Too much _ ,” Mack coughed into her elbow. 

Jensen flushed, and Jared could feel the heat rise in his own cheeks. “Right, well. What’ll it be? I’ve also got coffee if you want it.”

“No, no coffee, thanks. Is there another burger? I’m starving.”

Jared handed him a burger and a paper container of fries. He drank the giant cup of water down with his meal, then asked for the salad, and ate all of that as well. Jared was glad to see him eating. He told Jensen that Gen had said to let her know when he had eaten, so he could get his next round of meds. 

After eating so much and getting his dinner dose of painkillers, Jensen got sleepy again and told everyone to leave for the night and that he didn’t want to see them again until after breakfast. They all went home after he passed back out, each of the Ackles’ taking their turn to kiss him goodnight. Jared felt like an unwanted fly on the wall. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow, Jared?” Donna asked.

“If you’re sure. I really don’t want to intrude.”

“Don’t bother, Jared,” Alan told him. “You’re part of the family now, son.”

“See ya tomorrow,” Mack started, then eyed him like she was thinking of something important. “Five-head.”

“Mackenzie!”

Jared laughed, “No, Donna, it’s fine.” He shrugged. “It’s true.” He pursed his lips and gave Mack an appraising eye. “Night, short round.”

They all took in a sharp breath.  _ Shit, did I say something wrong? _

Mack hugged Jared again, tucking her face into his chest. “That’s what Jay used to call me growing up.”

“Oh, for a second I thought maybe y’all weren't fans of  _ Indiana Jones _ . I was gonna have to cut y’all off.” Mack laughed against him. “Not kidding, cold turkey.” 

Mack pulled back to look him in the face but kept his arms in her hands. “You guys are gonna make beautiful babies.”

“Mackenzie Joan!”

“Jeez, ma, it was just a joke.” She looked at Jared and rolled her eyes like they had a private joke between them. Regardless of whether or not that was true, "Mack Attack" was clearly team Jared and Jensen.

“Good night, Jared.”

“Night, y’all.”

Jared watched for a moment as the Ackles’ walked across the street to their hotel, then got in his car and drove home for the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, Jared wasn't too embarrassed! Aren't the Ackles' amazing people?! Mack is personally one of my favorites! Also, will Jared and Jensen ever get to actually TALK?!
> 
> Tune in Friday for Jensen getting out of the hospital and trying to figure out where his life is heading. Where do you think Jensen is going to end up; where do you HOPE he ends up??


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry!!! I totally spaced and DID NOT post this on Friday!! (Holidays and crazy work schedules got the best of me!)
> 
> PTSD, avoidance, self-doubt, old anxieties creeping in

Three days. Four nights. That’s how long Steve had put him in the hospital for this time. The cops had come and talked to him the first day. After the shrink, Jensen assumed they’d talked to Jared, as well, since he was there, too. He had been there all three days and that entire first night. It’s like he had some sort of complex for fitting into other people’s families without batting an eye. Jensen’s parents loved him, his sister adored him, and Jensen, well, Jensen was pretty sure he was fucking _in love_ with him, and what the fuck was he supposed to do with that? 

Jared had literally seen him at his worst. Walked in on him with his face bloody and his pants around his ankles. Jensen had no secrets when it came to Jared, there was no air of mystery, so wondering what all he’d been through in his life; Jared knew already, yet he was still there, every day. 

In short, Jensen didn’t know what to do with Jared. They certainly couldn’t go back to the way things were, there was no pretending that Jared saving him from Steve had never happened. There was no way of cutting Jared out of his life out of self-preservation, not when his family were so involved with him, and who could ignore someone like Jared? Which only left one other option, to be with Jared, but why would Jared want to be with someone as broken and worthless as Jensen? Steve was the only one willing to put up with him, and he wasn’t doing Jensen any favors. Now that everyone knew, and Steve was most likely in jail, there was no going back to him either. 

Jensen truly had no idea what he was going to do, or even what he wanted to do, nor how to go about doing it. He’d had a lot of time to think while he was in the hospital. When he’d dared to let his imagination run free, he imagined himself _with_ Jared. Going out and eating, getting take out and staying in, lying in his strong arms at night, and daring the nightmares to get him. Jared was the dream, and Jensen never got to dream, not in the last five years, anyway. 

“Jensen,” his mom called his name like she’d been trying to get his attention for a little while. 

Jensen shook his head and turned to look her in the eye, with both eyes, since they’d removed the bandage for him to go home. “Yeah, mama? Sorry.”

“Baby, I was just asking where is it you’re going to go when you get out in a couple of hours? I know you haven’t wanted to talk about it, but you need a plan.”

Jensen had no idea what he was going to do. It wouldn’t be right to go back home. It was probably still taped off like some crime scene from a lame TV show. He didn’t want to quit work and move back in with his parents, that didn’t seem like the right move for him. Mack would take him in, but he’d still have to quit and move, and he liked Richardson, despite everything that had happened to him while he’d lived there. He didn’t have the money for a deposit to get his own place. Steve had always managed all of that. Truthfully, Jensen didn’t know what all he actually had, let alone had access to. 

“Um, Jared had mentioned, in passing, but it seemed like a genuine offer…,” Jensen looked at her when she trailed off. “He said that he could watch over you—”

“I’m not some goddamned china doll, mom! I don’t need someone watching over me!”

“Jensen.” His father’s voice was hard and unchallengeable, but still kind. Jensen immediately realized that he’d allowed himself to lose control of his emotions and lash out at his mother, who was only trying to help. “I know you’ve been through some unimaginable things, and you don’t need to talk to us about that. But please, try not to yell at your mother when she’s only trying to take care of you.”

The fact that everyone thought he needed to be taken care of, that he wasn’t able to take care of himself, was what had pissed him off. The fact that they were right, is what made him lash out. Obviously, he wasn’t capable of making his own decisions, Steve had been his decision, and it was wrong. Staying with Steve was wrong, moving in with him and not fighting back when he still could have, it was all wrong, and it was all Jensen. 

Jensen stared at the blanket between his clenched fists, he had found all the patterns within them by the second night of his stay. “I know.”

“I’m sorry baby, but Jared has been such a help, and he adores you, and he has an extra bedroom that he’s not using. He said that he would be more than willing for you to move in with him until you get on your feet.” She stopped explaining herself until Jensen looked up at her. “He’s a good man, Jay. I would feel better if you were with a friend while all of this is going on. And he knows, so you wouldn’t have to explain anything to him. He’s been through something like this before.”

That was news to Jensen. “So he goes out of his way to find men in abusive relationships and rescues them often, does he?” He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter toward Jared, he’d been nothing but amazing since he’d showed up at the restaurant. 

“That’s not what she said, and don’t be such an asshole,” Mack defended the man who was _apparently_ her new best friend. “And that’s something that you’re going to have to talk to him about after we move you into his place this afternoon.”

“Mackenzie!”

“Sorry, mom, but he’s clearly not in the best position to be making decisions, he’s refusing to actually _do_ anything, so we need to make an executive decision.” Mack nodded her head like she’d just solved world hunger. 

“ _No_.” Jared’s voice caught them all off guard as he stepped into the room. “After what Jensen’s been through, if he’s going to be moving in with someone else, even as a roommate, that decision _has to be_ _his_. I do not want him feeling uncomfortable, or pressured into staying with me. I simply made the offer, the rest is up to him, and only if he feels _absolutely comfortable_ staying with me.” 

Having put everyone in their place, he turned to Jensen, a shy smile on his face. “I know we aren’t the closest friends, but I like you,” _what the fuck!?_ “And I’m familiar with what you’re going through, and I know how to keep to myself, but I’d like to be there for you and to help you get through this, if that’s something that you’d want. Even if it’s only for a week until you find somewhere else to go. You can stay with me while _you_ figure out what _your life_ is going to look like next.” 

Everything that Jared said made sense, except the part where he liked him. _Where did that come from, and what exactly did he mean by "like?"_ Jensen didn’t have time to agonize over that. Everyone was looking at him expectantly, except Jared, so he needed to make a decision. 

“I don’t want to be a burden on anyone.” He held up a hand when they all started to argue. “But I know that I can’t do what comes next on my own. So, since he lives here, where I can still go to work, and everyone seems to be so _in love_ with him, I will move in with Jared.” He held up his hand again when his family got excited. “At least until I can figure out what I can do next.”

His family left with Jensen’s old house key to go get some of his things from Steve’s house for him to have at Jared’s. Jared stayed with him until he was released later that afternoon. They chatted about what was going on at work, how Jensen’s accounts had been either notified of his being out or transferred to someone else. Somehow Jared had been able to keep up with work, while still spending hours with Jensen at the hospital. 

When the time came, Jensen changed into his street clothes, which felt scratchy and confining, and was wheeled out with Jared by his side carrying the few creature-comforts Jensen had been allowed to have with him. He carefully climbed into Jared’s car and sat in silence as Jared drove them to his house. He lived in a small duplex on the other side of town from where Steve and Jensen had lived, which was a welcome change. 

Jared was a few years younger than him, so he had gotten what worked for a single guy moving to a new town. It was just him, but he had family that would visit, so he’d rented a cheap two-bedroom apartment that was only a ten-minute drive to work. He kept his space clean, and the furniture was minimal. A sofa, a couple of mismatched chairs, and what looked like thrift store end tables and a small coffee table, which was littered with books. It was much cozier than Steve’s modern-chic style had been. Jared couldn’t have been any less like Steve if he’d been trying. 

Shortly after Jared finished giving him the tour of the house—master bedroom, guest bathroom, guest bedroom, and open-plan living room/kitchen area— Jensen’s parents and sister showed up with a suitcase and a few boxes of his things. They carried his meager belongings to their designated rooms, his toiletries in the bathroom, and clothes and whatnot into Jared’s spare— now, Jensen’s—bedroom. 

Jared cooked pasta and an entire bag of frozen meatballs because it was all he had that could feed all of them, saying that he wanted to welcome them properly to his house. They all ate on Jared’s mix and match dishes and drank water from the tap out of his assorted glasses. The meal was a stark contrast to anything he’d ever experienced in his life and it made him feel a myriad of emotions. Thankful that Jared was nothing like Steve, and apprehensive because Jared was _nothing_ _like_ Steve. Jensen was endeared toward Jared because he wasn’t concerned about what his place looked like to anyone else. He was unswayed by things like matching furniture and dishes. Jensen didn’t feel like he needed to behave “properly” there; it felt like a safe place to just hang out and _be_ , without having to worry about how he should exist in the space. 

There was absolutely zero pressure, and part of Jensen was uncomfortable about it. _How am I supposed to_ be _around him?_ What _does Jared want from me? How does he like to keep his house? What am I supposed to be responsible for?_ How _am I supposed to know what Jared wants from me? Is he going to have a list, or should I_ know _already?_

After dinner, Jensen hugged his family goodbye and watched as Jared did the same. Jensen’s stomach felt knotted up as he waved, watching his family leave him alone with Jared. 

Jared was sitting patiently on the sofa when Jensen came back inside and put out his hand to offer Jensen a seat. 

“I assume you have some questions, and we should talk about what’s going on, now that your family is gone.”

Jensen’s pulse accelerated and he got dizzy. He took the closest seat to him, which happened to be the other end of the sofa from Jared. 

“I’m not sure what your finances are like, or if he was controlling everything. We’ve got time to figure it out. And I’m not worried about rent, but if you want to pitch in for food and utilities, if you’re here for a while, that’ll be fine. We can go over all of that later. Um, I’m not very particular about things, just don’t leave stuff on the floor, and make sure you put your towels in the hamper, and the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, and we should be good. There’s a notepad on the fridge for when we run out of stuff… um, I can’t think of anything else.”

“That all sounds good to me.”

Jared squinted his eyes at him a bit, then raised his eyebrows. “You look like you’ve got some questions; I’m an open book, shoot.” Jared’s smile was almost blinding in the dim light from the lamps around the living room. 

Jensen tried to keep the nerves out of his voice, even as he rambled, “How long can I stay? What chores do you need me to do? Who’s going to do the cooking and cleaning? Do I need to make sure to be quiet after a certain time of night or not wake up too early in the morning? What is your schedule like? Are we going to carpool to work? I can give you gas money.”

Jared moved closer to him on the couch and Jensen flinched back on instinct. Jared froze hands on his knees, his eyes on Jensen’s. “I’m sorry, Jensen. You don’t have to worry about anything. I’m sure we’ll work out some sort of schedule. I tend to stay up late, sometimes I read, or watch a movie or binge-watch some TV. I wake up early to get a workout of some kind in before work, but if you like to sleep in, I’ll be quiet.” He stopped and looked down at his hands massaging his knees. “If you’re comfortable carpooling, we can do that, I don’t mind, and it’s not like we’re not going to the same place and I’m not going to be making the trip anyway, so I’m not worried about taking you or getting gas money.” He looked up at Jensen, then took a deep breath and licked his lips. “You’re not an inconvenience, Jensen. I’m glad you’re here.”

Jensen nodded, and when he took a deep breath in he felt like he was going to cry. He got pissed that he’d get so emotional about basically crashing at a friend’s house, so he bunched his hands into fists and shoved them into his thighs. 

“Jensen,” Jared whispered. Jensen turned his head toward him but didn’t dare look up or speak. “Can I— I mean, would it be okay with you, if I gave you a hug?”

The question shocked Jensen enough that he looked Jared in the eye. He looked concerned and helpless and genuinely like he was holding himself back. Jensen appreciated all of it and nodded, but didn’t move. Jared scooted a little closer and wrapped his arms around Jensen. At first, Jensen felt tense from the contact, but in the next heartbeat, he turned into Jared and let himself relax. It had been so long since someone had embraced him so thoroughly, even his family. He could imagine Jared’s warm sunshine seeping into his weary bones and igniting his very soul. 

Jensen returned the hug, wrapping his arms under Jared’s and around his waist, burying his face into Jared’s shoulder. He took in another deep breath, and this time when he released it, he sobbed. He was unable to control his tears and his shaky, ragged breaths. When he tried to pull away to regain his composure, Jared just squeezed him harder. It wasn’t possessive or demanding, it was as if Jared were letting Jensen fall to pieces so that he could hold him together. All the while Jared was whispering into his hair and rubbing his back. Telling him that he was safe now, that everything was going to be okay, and that he wasn’t broken. Jensen clung to Jared as if his life depended on him and when he could finally breathe evenly again, they slowly let go of each other but didn’t move completely apart. 

Jared put fresh linens on the bed for Jensen and left him alone to get ready for bed. Jensen had never gone through his nightly routine without Steve looming over him in some way. He kept looking over his shoulder to check for a disapproving eye or exasperated sigh because he was taking so long to get ready. Of course, there was only him, but that worry and sense of dread weren’t going to disappear overnight, or even a few overnight stays in a hospital. Like the therapist had said, healing takes time, and who knew what all kind of healing his brain was going to have to go through before he was himself again, whoever that was. 

Jensen had the best sleep he could remember in Jared’s spare bed, locked in Jared’s house, with Jared sleeping in the next room over. Jensen was safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jensen has a lot of healing to do. How are we feeling? Do you think Jensen is going to let himself trust Jared and stay with him? 
> 
> Tune in Tuesday for Jensen's hearing, to see how Jensen is healing, and how things are progressing between our two boys!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jared observes Jensen('s) court case, facing an abuser, healing from abuse, and dealing with PTSD

It’d been six months, and Jared had seen Jensen make such amazing progress. He barely jumped at loud, unexpected noises, he’d hardly ball his hands into fists when he got frustrated with a situation and couldn’t figure out how to explain himself, and he didn’t scream out in the middle of the night from nightmares as much. If Jared thought he’d had anything to do with it, he’d be proud. As it was, he was immensely proud of Jensen; he’d come all that way, basically on his own. He’d decided to seek out help when and where he needed it and he was growing more and more into his own man as the weeks passed. 

Within the first week, Jensen had gone to the bank with his police report, explained the situation to the manager, and asked what he could do to separate his money from the joint account that Steve had set up. Since Carlson’s Pulp, Inc. direct-deposited their paychecks with their names in the transaction description, it had been relatively easy for Jensen to start a new account in his name. They had added up what his contribution to the account had been, subtracted his half of the bills—to be fair—then took the rest out, and opened up the first account Jensen had ever had on his own. Although Jensen appeared nervous about it, having something of his own, which was under his complete control, had helped boost his self-esteem. After that, Jensen became more confident and less deferential. 

Jared was also pleased that Jensen had initiated some physical contact and had given Jared permission to reciprocate. It had started very small; Jensen would put his hand on Jared’s back or shoulder as they moved around the kitchen or some other tight space together. Innocent enough, but Jared lived for those subtle touches; they meant that Jensen was healing. Jared still kept his distance until Jensen had pointed out that he missed how Jared used to touch him before he  _ knew _ . He’d sounded upset about it, and Jared got the idea that Jensen thought Jared abstained from physical contact because he thought Jensen was tainted because of what Steve had done to him. Jared wanted to wrap him in his arms and kiss him until he believed that wasn’t true. 

Instead, Jared resisted the instinct he had developed to stay away from Jensen and allowed his natural tendency to be “touchy” resurface. He tried to keep contact neutral and respectful and let Jensen decide how much he was comfortable receiving. Jared was delighted after only a month of Jensen living with him that Jensen would share the couch with him, even going as far as sitting next to him, or allowing their feet to touch each other when one of them was laying down. 

In the second month, Jensen had sat next to him and leaned against Jared’s shoulder like a pillow. Jared was so startled he didn’t dare move, and then Jensen grabbed his arm and looped it over his shoulders. There was nothing Jared could do but let Jensen direct and use him however he wanted to in order to test out his boundaries. Jensen hadn’t flinched when Jared’s fingers started tracing mindless little patterns on his arm. 

During the third month, Jensen started getting bold. He would outright flirt with Jared, cheeks blazing, every time. When Jared would be cooking or bending over to get something out of the fridge, Jensen would be sure to comment on how good he looked. Once, Jensen even pressed up behind him to reach around for something but had apologized and backed away quickly. Jared had assured him that he hadn’t done anything that he needed to apologize for and that he had enjoyed being so close to him. If Jared were honest, and if he thought it wouldn’t terrify or guilt Jensen into acting, he would have told him that he wished they could touch like that all the time. 

After four months of living together, Jensen was actively cuddling with him when they’d watch TV, and sometimes even when they would read on the sofa. Both chairs had become grossly ignored unless his family were visiting, which they did at least once a month, or if the lawyer wanted to talk to them in person about their testimonies. Jared was even positive that Jensen almost kissed him, once. Jensen had been pressed against his chest while he laid on his back against the sofa, and Jensen had looked up at him, glanced at his lips, licked his own, but then he’d flushed red and laid his head back down. Jared was a patient man, but his resolve was withering daily. 

Almost exactly one month before his court date, Jensen had found Jared in the kitchen, shirtless, making a smoothie after a workout and shower, and called his name from the other side of the room. His fingers were twitching at his sides, eyes trained on Jared. Jared was about to ask if he was alright when Jensen shook his head, took three long strides, then wrapped his hands around Jared’s hips and pressed their lips together. Jared’s heart sang and his head spun, and all that other sappy shit that happened in those movies Jensen pretended to hate. Jensen’s fingers were vice-tight on his hips, but his lips were soft and pleading. Jared was careful to put his hands gently on Jensen’s shoulders but let his lips take what they’d been so desperate for after so many months of wanting. 

When they pulled away from each other, Jensen’s eyes were closed, and he had the most content smile Jared had ever seen him wear. Then Jensen’s eyes had snapped open to search Jared’s face, though Jared didn’t know what for. Perhaps disappointment in the kiss, anger because he had done it without asking or being asked to, but he didn’t find whatever he’d been afraid of, and his smile returned. Jared leaned in—against his better judgment—and kissed him once more, a quick peck of their lips together, then thanked Jensen for the kiss. Jensen had laughed so hard he threw his head back, and Jared considered that a landmark in their relationship. He resolved to get Jensen to laugh that hard daily, however, and whenever he was able. 

As his court date came nearer, Jared could see Jensen’s strength falter. He’d started getting nervous again and trying to plan and prepare for things ahead of time. Jared understood that it would be more stressful for Jensen to be in a room with Steve physically than it had been to just talk about it with his lawyer, but he also knew that it’s what was best for him and that it would offer him some semblance of closure. Jared worried that Jensen might be expecting some sort of apology but also trusted that Jensen wouldn’t be so naive. 

By the week of the hearing, Jensen hadn’t laughed—at all—in ten days, not that Jared had been counting. He was worried about Jensen but knew without a shadow of a doubt that this would not set Jensen back. He would be able to get through this, and Jared would be by his side to help him where he could.

As far as court cases go, Jensen’s was pretty standard. At the insistence of the police, and with the full support of his family and Jared, Jensen had filed charges for first-degree aggravated assault and battery, first-degree rape, and one case of attempted murder, which he had not discussed with anyone else. That was for Jensen to decide how and when to share. Steve had been held in prison until his hearing due to the severity of his actions. There was no doubt of his guilt since the police had witnessed the assault the night of his arrest, in addition to the multitude of calls that were received before that night. 

Jared sat directly behind Jensen when the proceedings began and itched to reach forward and offer him some sort of comfort when they brought Steve in. Jared barely resisted the urge to jump over the small wall and punch Steve in the face when he glared at Jensen from across the room.  _ Where does he get off? _ Mack reached over and squeezed his hand so hard, he believed she was fighting the same instinct. 

Steve’s lawyer announced that he pled not guilty. Jensen’s dad, Mack, Jared, a police officer, and a neighbor all testified against him, and then it was Jensen’s turn to take the stand. Jensen answered all of his lawyer’s questions just as they’d rehearsed, Jensen was nervous, but he spoke clearly and didn’t let himself get angry or defensive. That all changed when Steve’s attorney began the cross-examination. He asked if Jensen had ever antagonized Steve or provoked him in any way by doing things he purposefully knew Steve hated, also asking if Jensen had liked things rough when they had sex. Jensen got loud and defensive, saying that even if he had done something like that, that didn’t give Steve the right to beat him bloody. 

Jensen’s attorney objected when the opposing counsel tried to insinuate that Jensen liked blood play and knife play in the bedroom. He stated that regardless of whether or not that was consensual, it didn’t give Steve permission to stab Jensen and sever a major artery, nearly killing him. Steve’s lawyer withdrew that question, and Jensen spared a glance at Jared before dropping his gaze to his hands. Jensen’s lawyer asked permission to ask Jensen one final question before he could step down, which the judge granted. 

“Jensen, just to set the record straight, and clear up any possible miscommunication regarding your previous relationship with Mr. Carlson, are you now, or have you ever been, into sadomasochism, or enjoyed or sought out painful intercourse? Or had you ever given Mr. Carlson advanced consent to penetrate you while you were unconscious or in an altered state of mind?”

Jensen became visibly shaken, but he squared his shoulders and looked directly at his lawyer to answer a very firm, unwavering, “No, I am not, nor have I ever been into pain during sex, or being raped.”

Jared watched as the jury physically reacted to Jensen using the term “rape” and breathed a sigh of relief to see that all of them seemed to agree that that was exactly what his lawyer had described. They also seemed disgusted by Steve’s half-assed attempt to seek sympathy, stating accounts of abuse from his father and mismanaged teen-anger issues. He insisted that he and Jensen had a consensual sexual history and that anything that Steve had “given him,” Jensen had asked for, even if it hadn’t been verbal. By the end of Steve’s testimony, Mack was squeezing both Jared’s and her father’s hands. 

In the end, Steve was found guilty on all accounts, and the jury had sought the maximum penalty for each charge due to his lack of remorse and perceived lack of empathy. Steve would never again inhale a free breath of air as long as he lived. Jared sighed in relief, and Jensen turned to him with tears in his eyes. 

The Ackles’ stayed in a hotel that night and let Jared and Jensen have the night to themselves since it had been such a stressful day for Jensen. They decided to meet at a restaurant for lunch the next day to celebrate Jensen’s freedom. Jared had planned a quiet dinner and an evening of whatever Jensen wanted to do afterward. But all of his plans flew out of the window the moment they got back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think could have happened to disrupt Jared's plans!?
> 
> One more part left to go, whatever could happen with our boys?? Tune in Friday to find out!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT (finally), rimming, anal fingering, anal sex, awkward sex, brief memories of rape and noncon experiences, a bit of fluff

“Life in prison” was ringing in Jensen’s ears all the way back home. Never again would Jensen have to spare a thought in Steve’s direction. Never again would Jensen have to wonder if he would need to worry about running into him out in public somewhere. Never again would Jensen have to hear the name "Steve Carlson." Jensen was free of him forever. 

Over the last few months, Jensen had stopped having such vivid nightmares of waking up to Steve fucking him, or Steve holding a knife to his throat while forcing himself on him, or of him waking up to Steve standing over his bed—in Jared’s house—pointing a gun at him. Therapy and distance were helping him to get over the learned behaviors he’d developed over the years of living under Steve’s thumb. Jensen was becoming his own man, and he’d found  _ real _ love with Jared. Now that just about everything with Steve was behind him, it was time to let Jared know exactly how he felt about him. Jared had saved him—sometimes even from himself, and Jensen loved him for it.

As soon as they made it home from the courthouse and the door shut behind them, Jensen spun around on Jared and claimed his mouth with his own. The desperation he’d felt all day poured out of him as he explored Jared’s mouth with his tongue. Jensen wanted to be able to create a 3D replica of the perfection that was Jared’s mouth from memory before the night was over. More importantly than that, Jensen needed Jared to know how he felt about him and that he was so far beyond ready to give himself to Jared that he didn’t even remember when he’d made the decision. 

However, Jared, being the consummate gentleman, had other plans. He kept trying to pull away. A weak “Jensen” escaping him every time, and Jensen would just swallow them down. Jensen knew what he wanted, something Jared had been very insistent about—that Jensen knew what he wanted—that he was ready, before they ever did anything in their relationship, even when it was just snuggling on the sofa. 

A firm press against his chest and a stronger “Jensen” made him realize that perhaps this was something that Jared didn’t want, or wasn’t ready for, yet. The thought hit him like ice water, and he took two steps back and slammed his hands into his pockets. 

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said. 

“No, no, no.” Jared followed him and pulled his hands from his pockets to lace their fingers together. “Jensen. I  _ love _ where your head is at right now, but are you sure you are okay to do this _ right now _ ? You’ve had a stressful day. I was just going to have dinner and do whatever you wanted to do tonight.”

Jensen tried to let the feeling of rejection leave him; that’s not what Jared was doing or saying. Jared was only making sure that Jensen was actually ready. Jensen smirked and looked pointedly down at his erection, valiantly trying to escape his slacks. “I’m pretty sure dinner can wait.” Jensen paused and chewed on his bottom lip as he really thought about what he was going to say next. Then he looked Jared straight into his stormy-sea-green eyes and said, “All I wanna do tonight is  _ you _ .”

The smile on Jared’s face could light an entire third-world country as he slid in closer and pressed their bodies together. “I’m all for delaying dinner… if you’re sure about this.”

Jensen pressed his hips into Jared’s, only their slacks keeping their erections from touching. “I am  _ so _ sure.”

Jared’s mouth was back on his the next instant, and he was leading them to his bedroom. Jensen went willingly. No alarm bells going off, no hesitation of any kind, for which he was eternally grateful. With or without his brain’s permission, he was giving himself this tonight, they both deserved this. They kicked off their shoes along the way and started to remove their shirts when they got to Jared’s bedroom door, reluctantly breaking apart to do so. 

They eyed each other hungrily as they tossed their shirts to the side, then crashed back together. The feel of their bare chests against each other had Jensen groaning into Jared’s mouth. It had been so long since he had been in any sort of control during sex, and Jared was letting him make the decisions, then leading him through it. It was more than Jensen could have ever dared to hope for. Sex had never been like this for him since college, and he’d almost forgotten that it could feel this good and be this passionate. 

When Jensen felt the bed press into the backs of his knees he paused. It was enough of a hesitation that Jared stopped kissing him and buried his face into his neck and began to rub soothing patterns against his arms. 

Both of them were breathing heavily. “Are you still sure? We can take it as slow as you need to, Jay; tonight is all about you.”

If it were up to Jensen, he didn’t want to be in charge, he actually enjoyed not having to make decisions, and not being in control. Steve’s lawyer had been half right about the BDSM thing… he just preferred more of the D/s than the S&M, maybe a dash of the B, if he was in the mood. The major thing was that he trusted Jared, more than he’d ever trusted anyone else he’d ever been with. 

Jensen took a deep breath. Y _ ou can do this, you’re ready for this, it’s just  _ new. “The thing is, I’m sick of thinking about this and worrying about how it’s gonna go. I’m ready; God knows, I’ve  _ been _ ready, and I want you.” Another deep breath. “I love you, and I want you to fuck me.”

Jensen felt the air on his face from Jared’s intake of breath. When he pulled back to look Jensen in the eyes, Jared’s face held a mixture of surprise and relief and longing, and he had tears in his eyes.  _ Great, you made him cry, good one _ —and before Jensen could finish berating himself, Jared’s mouth was sealed to his once more. 

He kept kissing him between words. “I,”  _ smooch _ , “love,”  _ kiss _ , “you,”  _ peck _ , “too.” 

Then Jared gently leaned into him, making his knees bend over the mattress, causing him to fall back onto it. Only, "fall" wasn’t the right word, because it was Jared who was laying him out over the bed. Jared who started kissing his way down over his torso, swirling his tongue over each sensitive nipple as he went. It was Jared who unbuttoned and unzipped his slacks and shimmied them, along with his boxer briefs, over his hips and ass and off, onto the floor. Then it was Jared who removed each sock and tickled the tops of his feet with his fingers as he trailed his way up to his knees. 

Jensen laid his head back to catch his breath while Jared placed sweet, wet kisses to the inside of his knees while he removed his own pants, laughing a little at the odd angle. Once he was just as naked as Jensen, Jared renewed his ascent. He kissed his way up each of Jensen’s thighs, then sucked a mark into Jensen’s hipbone that had him bucking against the air for more. 

“I love that I finally get to see you like this,” Jared whispered into his ear. “Laid out, so ready for me. Wanting me like this.”

“Always wanted you, Jare. Even before…,” Jensen admitted, breathless already, and Jared had barely touched him. 

Jared urged him to move up the bed and guided him to have his head on a pillow. He kissed him again and let his hands roam, feeling him everywhere, his fingers hesitated slightly over the raised scar tissue on his left shoulder. He didn’t comment nor linger on the area, which Jensen was immensely grateful for. Once they were both comfortable touching and being touched by each other, Jared turned over and dug into his nightstand, then turned back holding a bottle of lube and a condom. 

Jensen quirked an eyebrow. “You Boy Scout!” Jensen laughed. 

“I’m always prepared,” Jared joked.

Jensen knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but it did make him wonder. Jared must have seen or sensed his mood change. He dropped both to the bed, grabbed him by the face, and looked him straight in the eye. “Jensen. I had these from before you moved in. Well, the lube is new because I, um, ran out a few weeks ago. But the condom actually came with me from San Antonio. I haven’t been with anyone since I moved here.” He looked away for a moment, then back at him. “Not since I met you.” Jared had said it so quietly, Jensen thought he had misheard him, but there was no mistaking the sincerity in Jared’s tone. 

“Really?” Jensen couldn’t believe it.

“Really, haven’t wanted anyone else since I met you.”

“Me neither,” Jensen said. He could hardly believe he felt comfortable enough with Jared already that he had no qualms with admitting his feelings went back that far. At some level, he was sure Jared had known. “I got fully tested while I was in the hospital. I’m clean.”

Jared looked taken aback at Jensen’s declaration, then he looked like he understood where Jensen was going with that statement. “I got tested when I had my screening when I took the job here since I was already there, I figured ‘why not’? I’m clean too, but I’m pretty sure the condom is still good, if you’d rather—”

Jensen kissed him again before he could finish that thought. “We’ve both waited this long….” Jensen shrugged with one shoulder, then added, “wanna feel  _ you _ .” 

Jared groaned, and kissed him again, leaning against him until Jensen was on his back. “You let me know if I do anything tha—”

“I will.”

Jared kissed his way down his neck, nibbling on his pulse point, making Jensen’s toes curl. “Oh,” Jared said suddenly, pulling back to look Jensen in the face. “Are you, um,” Jared squeezed his eyes shut, then forced himself to ask, “ _ clean _ , clean?” Then pointed a look down Jensen’s body. 

Jensen felt his entire body heat up. “Oh, uh, yeah? I was kinda hoping this was going to happen, so I sorta washed extra good this morning, and I was too nervous to eat anything, so I haven’t—” 

It was Jared’s turn to kiss Jensen into silence. 

“So, would you like it if I used my tongue to open you up, then?” As if showing what Jensen would be missing out on if he said "no," Jared circled his nipple with said tongue and flicked him a few times to show off his dexterity. 

Jensen groaned and threw his head back. “God, please!”

“You can still call me ‘Jared’.”

Jensen couldn’t help the full-bodied laugh that took him over; he would adamantly refuse Jared’s later description of him having gotten the "giggles." Jensen laughed until Jared settled himself between his legs and pushed his knees up. It had been ages, he reckoned, since someone other than a doctor had looked that closely at that particular area of his body. He was sobered by the thought, and the enormity of the situation hit him. 

He didn’t freeze like he had when he’d gotten to the bed, but he did take a deep breath. Even that wasn’t enough to prepare him for the first feeling of Jared’s hands on the inside of his thighs and his lips kissing his perineum. He was taking his time and working his way down to Jensen’s entrance; Jensen was grateful. Jared was letting him become accustomed to someone being in his personal space again and allowing him plenty of time to call  _ ixnay _ on the  _ exsay _ . It only took a moment before the sensation turned from unusual to entirely-too-fucking-hot-for-this-world. 

Very quickly, Jared had Jensen gasping for breath and writhing on the mattress, begging for his cock. Jensen couldn’t even think straight enough to be embarrassed by how easy and desperate he was being. All thoughts of  _ being told _ to beg were nowhere to be found, Jared had Jensen completely blissed out. Once Jensen was sloppy from Jared’s spit Jared started probing him with a finger, Jensen didn’t even hesitate to shove himself onto that finger and beg for more. Jared hummed a laugh directly into Jensen’s ass that reverberated through his entire body. 

Jared worked his finger in all the way to the base and pulled his face away to murmur, “So needy for me, already,” before kissing his inner thigh. 

If this was what prepping was supposed to be like, Jensen had never done it before in his  _ life _ . Not even when he was in high school had he ever been taken apart so completely by someone before they’d even fucked, and Andy from the baseball team had given  _ really _ good head. The thought of Jared putting his mouth and tongue to work on Jensen’s dick had him shoving down harder and begging for Jared to add another finger. 

“Please, please, Jare, need it so bad. Please, God, fuck me!” 

“All in good time,” Jared sassed, causing Jensen to laugh and clench down on Jared’s finger. Then he added, more seriously, “You’re so tight, Jay. Wanna make sure you’re ready, I’m not gonna to hurt you.”

Jensen looked down at Jared. “I know, I just,  _ ung _ , I’m so  _ ready _ to be ready already.”

“Yeah, I’m getting that.” Jared laughed again then winked before lowering his mouth to place a kiss at the bend of his hip. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

“Mmm, God your mouth.” Jensen rode Jared’s finger harder, he could finally feel that he was beginning to loosen up.

Jared didn’t say a word as he lined up a second finger and began adding pressure. It had been six months since anything other than some Bacitracin and his own fingers had gone near his asshole, he knew he was tight, but his patience was wearing thin. Then, just as he was about to beg again, Jared’s lips sealed around the head of his cock and Jensen forgot what had been so urgent the second before. 

Jensen leaked precome from his tip, and Jared moaned and swirled his tongue to collect it all. Jared licked all down Jensen’s cock getting him wet with spit before he pressed in further with both fingers and took his dick all the way into his mouth as a distraction. Jensen melted like butter. Every bone in his body seemed to go lax, and the only things he could feel were Jared’s fingers in his ass and his mouth around his dick. 

Encased in the wet, heat of Jared’s mouth, Jensen lost all concept of time. Jensen barely felt the stretch of another finger when Jared added it, and he had to tap on Jared’s shoulder before he came. Jared eased up on him after that, and once Jensen was easily taking all three fingers, Jared deemed him sufficiently prepped and ready to go. Jensen nearly threw the lube at him in his eagerness to really feel Jared inside of him. 

Sticky everywhere that mattered with Jared’s spit, Jensen waited impatiently after Jared removed his fingers to lube himself up. Jared, deciding to tease Jensen even more, lubed his fingers up and began fingering him again. Before Jensen could protest, Jared hit his prostate again, but this time with the slick slide of lubed fingers and Jensen arched against the bed. Jared hummed to himself and rubbed over his prostate again and again as Jensen squirmed and begged beneath him. 

“Fuck, I love seeing you like this. I’ll never get enough of it. Enough of  _ you _ .”

“Please, Jared. Fuck me,” Jensen wheezed, so strung out and out of breath that he could hardly get the words out. Jared was taking him apart, in the best way possible.

Jared grinned and climbed his way up Jensen’s body until they were eye to eye, then kissed him. As they kissed Jared grabbed the pillow that Jensen wasn’t sweating on and Jensen lifted his hips so that his ass could be propped up. He had never had sex in this position before, and it made him nervous, but he was also glad to be able to see Jared while they were connected. It had never mattered with anyone else, which was something that made Jensen a different,  _ good  _ kind of nervous. 

Jared lined himself up and looked Jensen in the eyes again, silently asking if he was still alright. Jensen nodded slightly and pulled Jared into another kiss. This kiss was enough of a distraction from the head of Jared’s cock pressing into him hard, until he made it through that tight outer ring of muscle, then easier as he allowed Jensen’s body to accommodate him little by little. 

This was nothing like Jensen had ever felt before. The gentle tenderness with which Jared fucked into him, the love in his eyes as he slowly filled him for the first time. Jensen’s eyes started to fill and he squeezed them shut and grabbed for Jared’s hands on his hips to steady himself. He’d had plenty of sex in his life, some great, some not great at all, and everything that happened with Steve. But he had never felt like he was bursting into flames from the inside out, like he could literally rupture because he felt so full. Not only was he full of Jared’s cock, which was admittedly impressive, but he was full of emotion, so much emotion that it had nowhere else to go but to literally seep out of him and across his cheeks.

He let go with one hand and grabbed onto the back of Jared’s head, threading his fingers through his shaggy hair, and pulled his face into his neck. Jared started kissing him again, pressing his plush lips to Jensen’s skin until he made his way to Jensen’s teary lips just as he made the final thrust into him. 

Tears were streaming out of Jensen’s eyes as he breathed out a contented sigh. “I fucking love you, so much.”

Jared took in a deep breath of his own then responded, “I’ve never felt like this about anyone else, Jensen.”

They kissed again and Jared began to pull out and slide back into him in short, shallow thrusts until neither one of them could hold back anymore. Jensen’s tears dried as he racked his nails down Jared’s back and Jared railed into him with abandon. When Jared switched up his angle and started nailing Jensen’s prostate with every few thrusts, Jensen couldn’t help but wrap his legs around Jared’s hips and lock his ankles together. 

Jared was dripping sweat down onto Jensen, and Jensen was licking it off of Jared’s throat, savoring the salty tang of him on his tongue. The slick sounds of skin slapping skin filled the room as Jared fucked Jensen like there was nothing, or no one, else he’d rather be doing; like he loved him. 

“Jay, I’m close, I’m gonna—” 

“I’m right there with you.” It had been years since Jensen had come without touching himself, but when he reached for his own cock, Jared had already wrapped his fingers around him and began to stroke in time with his thrusts. 

“You first.” 

Jared’s thrusts were starting to stagger but his fist kept a steady rhythm on Jensen’s cock until he felt his body seize, then he was coming. Spurts of hot come shot over Jared’s fingers and onto both of their stomachs as Jensen watched, fascinated. He was still jerking from his orgasm and Jared’s fingers were still wrapped around him when he felt Jared stiffen and the warmth of come fill him up inside. It was such a foreign sensation to be in the throes of orgasm when his partner came, but Jensen couldn’t spare a thought about how bizarre he felt because Jared was kissing him again as he thrust lazily in and out of Jensen, working himself through his release. 

Being with Jared at that moment was as natural as breathing. He didn’t second guess himself, or worry about whether or not he should move a certain way or say something, he was able to simply exist in the same time and space as Jared, reveling in their shared love, now consummated. 

When Jared’s arms started to shake from holding himself over Jensen, Jensen rolled his hips and hugged Jared to him as he rolled them to be on their sides. Jensen brushed Jared’s sweat-soaked hair from his forehead and kissed him there, then the edge of his eyebrows, then each eye, and the apple of each cheek, then the tip of his nose, the corners of his smile, then finally straight on his mouth. They were both smiling too big for the kiss to deepen, but that wasn’t the goal. Jensen just wanted to kiss Jared everywhere he could, without having to move. 

“Who knew you were such a sap?” Jared teased, then kissed him again. 

“You’re the one with all the romcoms.”

“And you’re the one that always wants to watch them.”

Jensen tried to glare at him but was only able to maintain the squint in his eyes for a split second before they both laughed. 

Such was the nature of their entire relationship. Jensen would pretend to be crabby about something, and Jared would see straight through it and do something goofy until Jensen was laughing right along with him. Over the years, they grew closer and closer, until they might as well have been the same person. Not because one was the shadow of the other, but because they perfectly mirrored each other. They went on trips and bought a home of their own so they could grow their family, they started their own company, and they were there for each other through everything that life had to throw at them. 

Just like their wedding bands said... Always & Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END! I hope you enjoyed the ride! Let me know what you think!
> 
> Remember that this was a commission! If you'd like one of your own, check out my [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/s/514bfb5367) for more info!
> 
> Next week I'll be posting another commission from Jen. Check back to see what pack alpha, Jared, thinks of shy, omega Jensen in Unmated. Now available in full on [Patreon!](https://www.patreon.com/posts/unmated-43805679)
> 
> Sneak peek:  
> Jared was a tall, broad, strong alpha. Jensen had always looked up to him and dreamed of finding himself an alpha just as capable as Jared someday. Jared was kind and just and funny, on top of being indescribably handsome. He even had a perfectly placed mole by his nose that only added to his appeal, unlike the smattering of freckles that covered Jensen’s body. Jared’s time away had only made him more attractive. His muscles were more profound, and his hair had grown longer to where it was almost down to his shoulders; even his voice was more resonant, Jensen would swear to it. Every alpha in the pack admired and even envied him, and every omega would have turned ass up to him at a word’s notice, especially Jensen.

**Author's Note:**

> Tune in Tuesday for Jared's POV and some insight into how he really feels about Jensen! 
> 
> I live for your comments, so please keep 'em comin'!


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